On June 4, 2018, my neighbors found me naked on the floor in my den, ostensibly trying to insert a reacher-grabber tool into my vagina. I thought I was standing in for my daughter for the delivery of her baby, who was breech. A while later, during a bipolar blackout at the hospital, I sucker-punched a police officer in the face, knocking his glasses to the ground, then tried to kiss him as he picked them up. I must have been experiencing superhuman strength, as I had in several of my prior psychotic episodes, the first of which occurred in 1982 and resulted in an eventual diagnosis of bipolar 1 disorder.

          When Brilliance and Madness Collide: Bipolar Disorder Without Boundaries, a 200-page narrative memoir about my over-forty-year diagnosed history with this disease, gives readers an up-close-and-personal look at what it's like to live with bipolar disorder. The book's most unique aspect is the in-depth account of my 2018 psychotic episode, which I wrote during the six weeks after I returned home from a psychiatric hospital, drawing on the copious notes I’d made during the episode and subsequent hospitalizations.

          The rest of the book frames that episode in the larger context of my life, beginning with a brief backstory about my life with bipolar disorder, then a closer look at the two years leading up to the episode and the warning signs that were apparent (in retrospect). The chapters about my manic psychosis and recovery, which comprise the longest section of the book, are followed by a discussion about my life since the episode, notably my experiences managing bipolar disorder during the COVID-19 pandemic.

          My goal with When Brilliance and Madness Collide is to dispel some of the stereotypes and stigma around bipolar disorder and provide hope and help to others who are struggling with this disease. I’ve not been healthy enough to work since 2000, but in the 21 years after earning a PhD in mathematics in 1979, I had a varied career path that is surprising when compared side by side with my mental health history. I was founder and CEO of a biotech company that licensed, developed, and marketed DNA sequence analysis software internationally; a consultant for some of the world’s fastest supercomputers; a US national laboratory scientist; a university mathematics professor; and a co-founder and market analyst for a small investment startup.

          I’m also a mother of two and grandmother of four. In 2020, I created the website ruthforthebroken.org, where I blog about mental illness and offer information and resources to educate the public.